The combination of scent and touch is absolutely
effective in initiating intimacy between two people.
That's basically how we communicate love in an effective
way, a way that doesn't involve having to discuss the
subject a great deal. It also works wonderfully on a
basic physical level. There are a lot of nerve endings
that follow along the path of the spine. As you massage,
your touch brings the blood to the surface, you speed
the absorption of the oils into the skin, and you also
bring up the level of oxytocin, the hormone needed in
high levels for the process of sexual arousal.
Massage is an especially good thing for men to
focus on. Women often need the kind of attention it
gives them to feel comfortable with proceeding on to
more intimate activities. The nurturing, caring-for
aspect of romance is extremely important between two
people. You will have more interesting and intense
erotic experiences if you're involved on all levels with
each other. And touch and scent are the best ways of
really opening some of those deeper levels.
A backrub is something that everyone can relate
to positively and that's a good place to begin. Using
oils will make it quite a different, and far more
Begin the massage with a small amount of your
chosen aromatherapy oil, just a teaspoon or so. Rub the
oil in the palms of your hands to warm it up before it
touches your partner's skin. Cold oil poured on a back
will quickly produce about twice as much tension as was
there before you started!
There are certain basic message techniques
designed to relieve tension, that are very effective.
Tension tends to accumulate in the neck, shoulders and
upper back in women, and in the lower back and buttocks
in men. The really important thing is not how you do the
massage. The idea is not to become an expert masseuse or
masseur. This is a seduction ritual! Be creative and
The Welcoming Press: With your lover lying face
down, straddle him or her or kneel at their side. Gently
press down on your partner's shoulders, and on either
side of the spine. Do not press directly on the spin at
any time during the massage. This stroke gives your
partner a few moments to get used to the feeling of your
hands on their skin.
The Back Warmer: Now begin to warm your lover's
back. With a flat hand, fingers together, palm in
contact with the skin, move the hands in parallel lines
up either side of the spine, then out and across the
shoulders, and down the sides of the torso.
Kneading: Working deeply is comfortable for your
partner, use your fingers to knead the muscles of the
back, starting with the neck and shoulders and working
your way down. Go slowly and use additional oil as
Raking: Spread your fingers and, keeping them
somewhat stiff, rake them down the back from shoulders
to buttocks. This releases deep, underlying tissue
Lower Back: The lower back and sacrum (the
downward-pointing triangle located between the buttocks
at the end of the spine) can become congested and
tender, especially in premenstrual women. Lightly
massage this area with small, circular strokes on
buttocks, hips and upper thighs. With a man, use lower
back spirals. Starting at the top of the crack between
the buttocks use your thumbs to make small spirals
upwards along either side of the tailbone to the top of
the sacrum, then press your thumbs along the top of the
hips and move them out, across and down the side of the
body to the floor. Repeat several times.
Buttocks: Try "Thumbs over the Mountain."
Starting at the bottom, press your thumbs firmly into
the flesh of the buttocks and follow the curve up,
around, and down the side of the hips. This can be a
tender and sensitive area, so use only as much pressure
as your lover can comfortably withstand. Return to the
first position and move your thumbs apart slightly to
describe a second curved line that is parallel to and
outside the first, continuing until you have no curve
left to follow. Repeat several times.
Thighs: Once you get to your lover's thighs, you
may find yourself getting distracted and decide to shift
your focus to other kinds of touching. Or you may want
to try out some massage strokes of your own design. Or
you can ask your partner to turn over and continue the
massage with a few more strokes to the front of the
Shoulder and Chest Presses: Kneeling behind your
partner, as he or she is lying face up, press down on
the shoulders and hold. Ask your partner to take a deep,
releasing breath, and let the essential oils work their
magic as you increase the pressure of your hands
slightly. At the end of the exhalation, release. Slide
your hands up and over your lover's collar bone and
press very gently. Have them take a deep breath as you
hold, then release. Now move your hands to the center of
the chest, (between a woman's breasts) and, laying one
hand on top of the other, press very gently. Have your
partner take a deep breath and release.
Sexual Energy Release Points, Neck and Ears:
Encourage your lover to breathe in a deep and relaxing
manner as you gently massage their neck, making small
circles over the release points on the upper neck and
about halfway up the ears. If the massage is a prelude
to lovemaking, now is a really good time to let the
kissing begin. Remember, too, that a woman's breasts are
highly charged with erotic energy and can create a
dramatic arousal response when massaged or caressed.
Women have a lot of tension in the lower region.
After a while on the upper back, when she is comfortable
with your hands, then use your thumbs to round her upper
buttock region (good for people who have sat for long
periods of time).
Pay special attention to the muscles in the back of the
neck. People carry a lot of stress there, and many of us
overlook this area in massage. You will probably receive
encouraging moans if you're doing it right. Drag the
thumbs up along the muscles at the back of the neck from
bottom to the nape. Very relaxing.
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