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The old woman sat facing a window and
staring at the patterns made by raindrops upon the
glass. Tears oozed from the corners of her eyes and
found their way into the creases around her eyes and
then dribbled down her cheeks. She could see the faint
reflection of her image in the glass and the rain became
tears. It was if heaven shared her grief. In thirty
years the pain had not diminished and now it was only a
matter of time and she would die too and the memories
would die with her. For thirty years she had lived her
life for others – her friends, her children and her
grandchildren. In all this time her memories were her
constant companions but she never shared them. Who would
understand? She looked forward to death, waited for it
daily and each day she cried for the love she had lost.
He had died years before, the drink finally took him in
its unrelenting embrace but she had not been at his side
to hold him as he slipped away into oblivion. They had
parted years before, because she could not bear to see
him destroy himself and he could not stand to bring her
down with him. He had conceded defeat and resignedly
accepted his fate. Alcohol was his demon and he no
longer had the will or the desire to fight. His last
words had been loving words. He had held her and told
her he loved her over and over again. She knew it was
over but clung to those last few minutes of
togetherness, drawing so deeply upon those words and his
familiar mellifluous voice, absorbing it all so that she
would never forget. Whenever the pain became too much
she would draw upon that moment and remember. It gave
her comfort as much as it prevented her from ever
healing from the deep inner wounds.
As the sun finally sliced its way through cloud and reached out with
golden fingers to embrace the verdant landscape, her eyes dropped to
her hands clasped in her lap. She twisted the ring on her finger and
felt the strange twist in her heart once more. "Wear it," he said
"and whenever you think of me touch it and I will be with you." The
ring incongruous on her hand because it was his ring and had to be
made smaller to fit her finger, had never been taken off. She made a
daily ritual of twisting it and gazing at the intricate patterns
upon it. It was as if this was the switch to her memories and by
touching the ring she entered the gateway to their 'bubble world',
the world they had once enjoyed as though they were children in
their own private universe. She heard his spontaneous laughter at
her slips of tongue and his teasing tone when he was in one of his
mischievous moods. He was such a rogue but there was no mistaking
the love he felt for her. It was a love that bound them so closely
they were truly one person in two parts. Neither of them could hide
their feelings from the other. He had only to hear two words from
her to know exactly what kind of day she was having. She always
seemed to intuitively know when he was in trouble. Although their
twenty months together had been filled with pain, it was that
incredible love that sustained her for the many lonely years beyond.
She never remembered the angry hurtful words because they had
disappeared like vapour in sunlight.
The loving words, the passionate words and those tender moments
remained…
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