Sexual expression plays a huge role in relationships. It is way for people to show their lovers what they feel about them through passionate and intimate ways. As wonderful as sexuality can be, it is often misunderstood, which is why the average couple faces sexual conflicts and challenges at some point during their relationship. This is no way is a generalization of men and women, but the truth is, men and women handle their sexuality differently- on an average. If couples spend some time to truly learn and understand their partner’s sexuality, they can build a happier and healthier sex life together, instead of facing the conflicts that stall their relationship from blossoming further.

Okay, so you now know that according for your sex life to improve, you need to understand your partner’s sexuality…but where do you start? Good question, but there is no particular area to start. You can start at any angle you wish, as long as you are learning something about your partner’s sexual behavior. Of course, the most advisable suggestion would be communication, for every counseling psychologist believes that all couple conflicts exist because of poor communication that needs to be improved. This may be true, but it is a very general suggestion- too general for you to understand where to start. You see, this is because you do not know what communication to improve. Many couples may have wonderful communication between each other and get along great, except for when it comes to making love. How can this be if you communicate so well? The answer is very simple, yet most people would not think of it. In fact, the average person sees communication as a general skill that works for all areas of life, which is why most couple gets confused when their sex life starts to lack. The answer is: You need to improve your Sexual Communication. 

Fine, that sounds simple enough. So all you have to do is talk about your sex life with your lover to clear any confusion? Well, yes- talking about what is going on in your bedroom certainly helps you both understand what is going on in each others minds, but that is not the entire solution. Besides talking about it, you have got to do some research and work on your own. This means you need to make an effort to study your partner’s sexuality by learning what triggers good and bad sexual responses. This is where it can get challenging because men and women view sex differently. Though men have times they are not “in the mood” due to other things going on in their life, they usually can tune out everything when it comes to having a lovemaking session with their partner. In fact, for many men, sex is great way to help them feel better and relax- like a stress reducer. For women however, sex is a more fragile subject and involves a lot of emotion. If a woman is having a bad day or has a million things going on in her mind, it distracts her from getting involved in good sexual activity. Men take this offensively, thinking that the reason their woman does not want to have sex or is not that into it, is because she is no longer as turned on by him, or even being selfish- when this is most of the time not true. Women need to be approached in certain ways that will make them feel relaxed, safe and ready to have sex. Men too have their own preferences of ways to be approached.

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